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Show versus Tell, example one

From contest entries and critiques that I’ve done, I’ve noticed that often people don’t quite understand what exactly is “showing” and what exactly is “telling.” So, I’m starting this series to give numerous examples so that you can see for yourself the various kinds of “telling” that can occur in your own manuscript, and suggestions for fixing it. She had almost been kil—no, she had to stop thinking about it. Her hands shook as she cleaned up the spilled juice from the counter. She tended to be a little obsessive-compulsive, putting things in order, cleaning things up as soon as the mess happened. If anything was even a little out of place, she had to straighten it or she couldn’t concentrate. She used her fidgeting now to calm herself. Pretty much everything after the second sentence is “telling.” Rather than “telling” the reader about her personality, it would be more vivid to “show” it to them through her actions and thoughts. For example: She had almost been kil—no, she had to sto

Questions?

I'll be starting a new series on Show versus Tell next week, but if you have anything you want me to cover on any other topic after that, just post a comment here or email me through my profile.

Dialogue—use action tags to show emotion

Action tags can be great for conveying a character’s emotions without actually saying what the character is feeling. This is especially useful if you want to convey character A’s emotions, but you’re in character B’s point of view for the scene. ”You’re a bit red. Are you okay?” “Of course. I’m fine.” He sloshed his straw up and down in his iced tea, making a few drops land on the table. Obviously, he’s not fine, but he’s trying to make the character believe he is. “Mr. Carrisford?” A woman’s voice called behind Jerry and Sue. Jerry’s hand spasmed in hers. However, he didn’t turn around. The woman hustled up to them. “Mr. Carrisford?” She touched Jerry’s arm. He turned to her. “I’m sorry, you have the wrong person.” Here, Jerry’s hand spasming tells Sue something isn’t right, despite what he tells the woman. Take a look at your action tags in the manuscript. Do they do something besides tell the reader who’s speaking? See if you can make them convey emotion in addition to action.

Dialogue—make each character’s dialogue distinct

Ideally, you should be able to tell each character apart from their dialogue alone, without any qualifying names. Each character’s sentences should be said so distinctly that a reader could immediately know that line is the heroine and that line is the hero. “Land sakes, Pastor Dave, what in tarnation are you doing with a gun? I thought pastors aren’t supposed to bear arms or somesuch as that. Do the deacons know you’ve got a firearm in your office? I don’t think they’d be very pleased.” “Mrs. Cauffield, I don’t have time to explain.” “Now wait a cotton-pickin’ minute. You’re not walking out of this office without some kind of explanation about why a grown man is heading outside with a gun in broad daylight with neither hide nor tail of deer around these parts, and hunting season months away. Pastor Dave! Come back!” Many factors can contribute to a character’s distinct voice: Sentence structure—some characters speak in fragments, others in full, proper sentences. Word choices—some cha

Dialogue—vary sentence structure

Vary sentence structure so it doesn’t get sing-songy. “How are you?” “I’m fine.” “That’s good.” “How’s your mother?” “She’s just peachy.” “My dad arrived.” “Yesterday?” “Last week.” “How’s he doing?” “Enjoying himself.” Aside from the fact this dialogue as absolutely NO CONFLICT, the sentence structure is unvarying. Here’s another example. “I talked with the director yesterday.” He jerked his thumb toward the office door. “I hope that it went well.” Her eyebrows rose. “We got a lot accomplished.” He nodded enthusiastically. “Did you make a decision?” She raised her pen to take notes. “We decided to table it for now.” He shrugged and sighed. “Who will you hire?” She scanned her list of candidates. “It’s down to two people.” He raised two fingers. Here again (aside from NO CONFLICT), the sentences are all about the same lengths, and each dialogue line ends with an action tag. The dialogue cadence is the same for the entire example. “This is Felicia.” She adjusted the headset’s microphone

Dialogue—using tags beside said

You can use tags besides “said.” I know, some people would call that heresy, but it’s true. Now, that being said, don’t go overboard—you don’t want your characters mumbling, chirping, drawling, squeaking, yelling, and hissing all through your book. But an occasional action verb can add nuance to the dialogue by telling the reader how the line is said. “If you keep it up, I’m going to smack you,” she hissed. Here, the character is trying to not let people know she’s upset by pitching her voice down but still trying to convey her displeasure. “If you keep it up, I’m going to smack you,” she bellowed. The character has reached a point where she doesn’t care who hears her and wants the person she’s yelling at to stop whatever they’re doing. “If you keep it up, I’m going to smack you,” she sang. Here, the character is talking to a person old enough to realize the threat of her words even though the tone is sweet. In each line, the atmosphere and flavor of the dialogue exchange changes depen

Dialogue—where you put your tags

Where you put the dialogue tag can make a difference with emphasis and pacing. “Sure, I did it last week,” she said. She said, “Sure, I did it last week.” “Sure,” she said, “I did it last week.” Readers tend to pause slightly at the sight of a dialogue tag, whether they know they doing it or not. As a writer, you can take advantage of that pause to add emphasis or subtly impact the pacing of the scene. For example, if a scene is going a bit fast and you want to slow it down a little, a tag here and there can moderate the pace. A dialogue tag can slow the pacing of the dialogue, so it’s not just back-and-forth like a tennis match. Example one: “Jenn is totally freaking out,” Trish said. “What brought all this on?” Venus asked. “Well, Aunty Yuki had a doctor’s appointment today—” “Is she doing okay?” “Clean bill of health. Cancer’s gone, as far as they can tell.” “So that’s why she’s taken over Jenn’s kitchen?” “She took one look at me and decided I needed something to help the baby alon

Character growth versus likeability

I blogged at Seekerville yesterday about something I learned from my editor about Character growth versus likeability . Update: Sorry about that, the link is fixed now.

Dialogue—how many tags

Use dialogue and action tags to eliminate confusion about who’s talking, but don’t use so many that they distract. Example one: “Jenn is totally freaking out,” Trish said. “What brought all this on?” Venus asked. “Well, Aunty Yuki had a doctor’s appointment today—” “Is she doing okay?” “Clean bill of health. Cancer’s gone, as far as they can tell.” “So that’s why she’s taken over Jenn’s kitchen?” “She took one look at me and decided I needed something to help the baby along.” This example could use a few more dialogue tags or action tags to help the reader understand who’s speaking. By the end, it’s getting confusing keeping track of who’s saying what. Example two: “Jenn is totally freaking out,” Trish said. “What brought all this on?” Venus asked. “Well, Aunty Yuki had a doctor’s appointment today—” Trish started. “Is she doing okay?” Venus interrupted. “Clean bill of health. Cancer’s gone, as far as they can tell,” Trish said. “So that’s why she’s taken over Jenn’s kitchen?” Venus sa

Advice for novelists

I was honored to be part of C.J. Darlington's blog post series on "If you could say one thing to aspiring novelists, what would you say?" (I forgot to post this earlier when the blog post first came out.) My answer to C.J.'s question

Writing the Multi-Ethnic Romance Novel: Asian American

I was over at Kaye Dacus's blog, where she asked me to write about writing Asian American novels .

Unique character descriptions

You are a writer. You can think of a better way to describe your heroine than “sprightly.” Your town drunk can be something more original than “uncouth.” You can find a more unique way to convey the fact that your hero is “handsome.” BE ORIGINAL. And yes, I am yelling. I am the first person to admit I don’t always have original descriptions, mostly because I am not as gifted as other writers. But I TRY. Here, for your inspiration and jealousy, are a few descriptions I got from a friend who read Stephen Hunter’s novel, Hot Springs : ... a largish old man in a lumpy suit, beaten-to-hell boots and a fedora that looked as if it had been pulled by a tractor through the fields of Oklahoma, who seemed to do a lot of spitting. Her accent was sugar-dipped, like a fritter hot on a cool Southern morning, and he placed it as either from Georgia or Alabam. Camy here: Isn’t that just amazing? I feel inspired and ready to be original, myself.

The Nature of Emotions

A friend forwarded this website to me that gives a very interesting, visual take on emotions: The Nature of Emotions by Plutchik It's only two figures and they're pretty self-explanatory. I thought this might be a good tool for anyone working on writing with more emotional intensity or emotional subtlety.

Basic Point of View, part twelve

Read other resources. My favorite point of view books are Characters, Emotion and Viewpoint by Nancy Kress, The Power of Point of View by Alicia Rasley, and Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card. There are also several online articles available. If you Google “point of view” and “writing” you’ll come up with a bunch. Here are a few to get you started: http://www.gailmartin.com/tips.htm#Seeing (short and to the point) http://www.sff.net/people/nankress/about.htm http://www.bethanderson-hotclue.com/workshops/whose-point-of-view-is-that/ http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp41.Point.of.View.html http://www.sff.net/people/alicia/artnarrow.htm http://www.pammc.com/pov.htm

Basic Point of View, part eleven

Do not switch points of view during the scene. This is called “head hopping” and it marks you as an amateur. Yes, other multi-published, bestselling authors head hop in their own books, but you are a new writer trying to break into publishing, and you shouldn’t do it. In the current publishing business, head hopping in your manuscript will decrease your chances of being published, plain and simple. If you switch point of view, insert a scene break to indicate the change in character viewpoint. Some writers will write part of the scene in one person’s point of view, insert a section break, then continue the scene in the other character’s point of view. Then they’ll insert another section break, and continue the scene back in the first person’s point of view. While this isn’t “wrong,” I personally dislike this. It smacks of lazy writing, in my opinion. I think that a good writer should be able to write a complete scene in one person’s point of view without absolutely needing to switch

Basic Point of View, part ten

Let the reader know whose point of view they’re in. You should clue the reader in about which character’s point of view the scene will be in as soon as you can. Preferably within the first three sentences. For example: “Move and you’re dead.” Maggie Somers lifted the .22 higher, trying desperately to keep her hands from shaking. --From Buried Secrets by Margaret Daley This was not the smartest way to die. USAF Pararescue Jumper Manny Péna grunted, tensed his muscles and tried again to flare the canopy on his parachute. --From A Soldier’s Family by Cheryl Wyatt Sophie heard God in every explosion of thunder as she listened to the awesome power of the approaching storm. But there was more. There was something coming—something more than rain. --From Petticoat Ranch by Mary Connealy In each of the examples, you know exactly who is the viewpoint character right at the start of the chapter. (You’ll notice that the first two examples show the characters’ full names, which they wouldn’t thi

Basic Point of View, part nine

Decide whose point of view the scene needs to be in. Try to chose the character with the most to lose. This will ensure the scene is at its maximum emotional potential. For example: Sally is going to tell Billy that her four year old son is his, a secret she’s kept since he walked out on her five years ago. Whose point of view do you write the scene in? Sally has known this information for years, so her anguish is in finally revealing it to Billy and feeling his shock and anger. Billy, however, is about to be laid a bombshell. The emotional strain will be higher from his point of view, so write the scene from Billy’s viewpoint. Sometimes people will write a scene from a third party’s point of view for literary reasons. It has a tendency to mute the emotional reactions of the primary characters involved, and sometimes a writer will deliberately want to distance the reader from the emotional scene. This choice of literary device is up to you. However, for most popular fiction, stronger

Basic Point of View, part eight

Your character would only notice what you would notice. Do you notice the color of your hair on an average day? Do you tell yourself in your head that Lisa is your sister? Is it possible to consciously notice when you’re unconsciously looking at a cloud? Would you know at one moment that the next five minutes will bring you a promotion? Your character, going about his average day, wouldn’t notice certain things that are commonplace or actions that are unconsciously done. Don’t write what your character wouldn’t consciously notice to himself. Jennifer wouldn’t notice her own hair because she sees it everyday, so don’t write how Jennifer tossed her long, silky blonde tresses out of her face. (She probably wouldn’t even consciously realize she was doing it—do you consciously note every time you brush the hair out of your eyes? Do you consciously note the color of your hair every time you brush it out of your eyes?) Dave wouldn’t tell himself, “That’s my sister Milly crossing the street

Basic Point of View, part seven

Your character would only think what you would think. You don’t hear anyone else’s thoughts when you’re talking to someone, right? (Most people don’t anyway.) You can guess what someone else is thinking from their expression, body language, words or tone. Many times, you can guess pretty accurately just from these visual and audible cues. But you can’t really hear your friend thinking his thoughts. Neither should your character. Judy thinks Alvin is pompous and full of himself. She can’t hear his thoughts, so she wouldn’t know Alvin thinks Judy is irresponsible and flighty. Mary thinks, Charles just doesn’t understand me. She wouldn’t know Charles is thinking, I think I’m finally starting to understand her. So your reader shouldn’t be told this, either. However, your character can speculate on what the other character is thinking. Judy can tell by Alvin’s expression that he thinks she’s a dumb blonde. Mary can tell Charles thinks he’s starting to make headway, but he doesn’t know

Basic Point of View, part six

So if your viewpoint character can’t see herself, how do you describe your character to the reader? Through other character’s eyes in other sections of the story. You really don’t need to give a full description of every character, all in the first chapter. I’m totally serious, here. If you start out chapter one in Amelia’s point of view, you don’t need to make sure the reader knows Amelia is petite, dark-haired, and sexy. You can save that for chapter two when Gaston finds himself attracted to his new neighbor, who is petite, dark-haired and sexy. Also, remember that your character won’t notice things that are commonplace, so she won’t toss back her long, ebony tresses as she walks to her car. She probably wouldn’t even notice what she’s doing. Instead, have the next scene start from Gaston’s point of view as his attention is initially caught by the sunlight glinting off of hair so glossy, it’s as if it’s made of strands of onyx. Using a mirror to describe your character is extremely

Advanced Fiction Writing sale

I just got this from Randy Ingermanson: Tax Day is behind us! To celebrate that happy event, I'm running one of my rare 24-Hour Specials on all my fiction-teaching products. See if you can spot the pattern: * Fiction 101: 50 percent off * Fiction 201: 50 percent off * Public Speaking: 50 percent off * Strategic Planning: 50 percent off * The Snowflake Method: 50 percent off * Writing SuperArticles: 50 percent off * Writers Conference Survival Guide: 50 percent off Why is everything 50 percent off? To find out why, click here: http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com/links/24.php This 24-Hour Special will run from midnight to midnight, Pacific Time, April 17, 2008. Randy's Fiction 101 and 201 series are terrific. If you've got some extra cash, take advantage of this sale.

Basic Point of View, part five

The most important thing to remember about point of view is: You are the character. This involves several things. First: Your character would only see what you would see. You don’t see your face unless you’re looking in a mirror. You don’t see the color of your eyes. You don’t see when a flush creeps up your cheeks (although you might feel the heat). You don’t see how charming you look when you’re angry. You don’t see the flash or glitter or tears in your eyes. Your character wouldn’t see any of that, either. So when you’re writing a scene from a certain character’s point of view, only write what the character herself would see. Susie wouldn’t see the dimples in her cheeks, so don’t write about how Susie’s dimples peeked out at Jim. Frank wouldn’t see his hair, so don’t write about how his ebony hair shone in the sunlight. Audrey wouldn’t see her own eyes, so don’t write about how the candlelight made her eyes turn golden. Next post will be about how to describe your character to the

Basic Point of View, part four

First person point of view is from only one person’s point of view, and it’s as if the reader is really inside the person’s head. You can use past tense or present tense. Past tense: Eat and leave. That’s all I had to do. If Grandma didn’t kill me first for being late. I raced through the open doorway to the Chinese restaurant and was immediately immersed in conversation, babies’ wails, clashing perfumes, and stale sesame oil. I tripped over the threshold and almost turned my ankle. Stupid pumps. Man, I hated wearing heels. Present tense: Eat and leave. That’s all I have to do. If Grandma doesn’t kill me first for being late. I race through the open doorway to the Chinese restaurant and am immediately immersed in conversation, babies’ wails, clashing perfumes, and stale sesame oil. I trip over the threshold and almost turn my ankle. Stupid pumps. Man, I hate wearing heels. Many writers like using first person point of view because it feels more immediate, but it’s actually more diffic

Basic Point of View, part three

To help the reader understand multiple characters, you can switch the point of view character throughout the book, using one for each scene. For example, chapter one is in Karen’s point of view at the party. In the next chapter or scene, we switch to Cissy, the day after the party, hoping Hanson will call her. In the third chapter or scene, we move to Elena, picking up her phone and finding her fiancé Hanson on the line, flirting with some other woman. In the fourth chapter or scene, Karen is woken up with a pounding headache by her cell phone—it is her best friend Elena, who is crying that she thinks her fiancé Hanson is having an affair. Be judicious in how many point of view characters you use. Too many point of view characters is often confusing for a reader. For example, in Debbie Macomber’s Blossom Street series, her novels always only have four point of view characters. This helps the reader keep track of who is who, because the reader is dropped into the heads of only four ch

Basic Point of View, part two

Omniscient third person point of view was used widely several years ago and is still used sometimes in more literary fiction. It’s what it sounds like—an omniscient writer telling the reader what’s going on from their expanded, omniscient viewpoint. The omniscient writer knows what every person is thinking, what every person is doing. For example, in omniscient point of view, the reader would find out Karen is being bored to death at the bar by a computer software engineer while Cissy is near the water fountain, fluttering her eyes at Hanson, who hasn’t told her he’s getting married next week to the party’s hostess. Omniscient point of view has several problems. One, it’s not used these days in commercial fiction, so using it will often mark you as an amateur. Two, it distances the reader from the characters and dampens the emotional impact of the story. You want to show an editor that you’re up to speed on current publishing trends, and emotion is what spurs the reader to engage in y

Basic Point of View, part one

Many beginning writers are confused about the concept of point of view. I’m hoping this series of blog posts will help you out. After I finish the series, I’ll condense it into one blog post article. What is point of view? It’s the type of narration of a story. For the purposes of a writer, it’s easiest to think of it as the eyes through which your reader sees the scene. There is third person, second person, and first person point of view. First person is told from the character as the narrator. I’ll be covering that later. Second person is not used often. It’s the type of narration where the character is referred to using personal pronouns, which serves to make the reader into the character. I remember this type of narration in the Choose Your Own Adventure books. Third person is most often used. In third person, the characters are distinct from the storyteller, who is essentially the author. Most readers are familiar with third person, since most fiction is written in third person

Back on Monday

Sorry I've been posting sporadically lately--I was busy with my blog tour in March and with the ACFW Genesis contest the past week. However, I'll be back on Monday with a new series, Basic Point of View.

Jordan Summers - New York blog post

This is a good article by Jordan Summers about getting published, being a breakout, and marketing for published authors: New York

Published Writers Who Can't Get Agents

This is a great blog post by literary agent Lori Perkins that published or not, you'll want to read. Very interesting. I hope it drives you to be that marketable, excellent-writing-craft writer. Published Writers Who Can't Get Agents

Random Writing Q and A

The faboo writers at the FAITH blog ask me some great writing questions.

The Evolution of Chick Lit

I’m on Tina Ann Forkner’s blog , talking about chick lit in the CBA, and where I think it's going. Anyone who writes humorous women's fiction might want to check it out. Update: Someone hijacked Tina's blog and she switched to Wordpress, but lost the guest blog post. So, I'm posting it here. Enjoy! The evolution of chick lit We’ve all heard it—chick lit is dead. And let’s face it, after a while, it’s a bit tiring to read about yet another designer-clad, latte-chugging single girl in the city. Some people don’t realize that chick lit has always been a subgenre of women’s fiction. Yup, that angsty stuff. Think about it—it’s about a woman/girl’s personal journey. It’s not necessarily a romance. She travels from one state of mind, heart, job, and living situation into another. She might pick up a guy along the way, but not necessarily, because her existence doesn’t require male accompaniment. But what sets chick lit apart—at least for me—is that it’s funny and it’s real. I

"Big Picture" Manuscript Critiques

I talk about how I do “big picture” manuscript critiques on Missy Tippens’ blog

The Top Ten Mistakes I See in Fiction Manuscripts

Come by and visit Gina Conroy’s blog for the top ten mistakes I see in fiction manuscripts. Update : Sorry guys, originally I posted this on the 12th, but Gina's post is actually up TODAY, March 14th.

Those first lines

“The most important sentence in an article is the first one. If it doesn’t induce the reader to proceed to the second sentence your article is dead. And if the second sentence doesn’t induce him to continue to the third sentence, it’s equally dead. Of such a progression of sentences, each tugging the reader forward until he is hooked, a writer constructs that fateful unit, the ‘lead.’” --William Zinsser, On Writing Well The quote is referring to nonfiction articles, but it applies equally well to your fiction manuscript’s opening hook. There’s something about a terrific opening line that pulls me immediately into the story. It builds anticipation in the reader that this will be a GREAT story, not just an okay one, because the very first line is so intriguing. Here are some examples of good opening lines: Scene transitions – opening hooks The opening of your manuscript is not the place to be lazy or sloppy with your writing. Make every sentence count, because that reader picking your bo

I'm at SORMAG blog today

Today, I give some hard advice for writers on the Shades of Romance blog . Update: I corrected the wrong link.

Seven of Nine – uniqueness in your characters

I’m a HUGE Star Trek Voyager fan, and I’ve been watching the reruns on SpikeTV. I really like the character Seven of Nine. For you non Star Trek fans, Seven is a human woman who was a Borg (mindless cyborg) for most of her life, but Captain Janeway rescued her from the Borg collective and is teaching her how to be an individual. Much of her storyline is Seven learning to be a unique individual after being just like all the other mindless, unethical Borgs. Sometimes the situations she gets herself into are humorous, other times they are heartbreaking or bittersweet. Seven is a good example of a character who already IS unique. She has two aspects her character that make her so unique: (1) Her backstory as a Borg is already unusual and (2) her striving to become someone different gives the audience something to root for. Her goal of overcoming a complete LACK of individuality is a very different sort of character arc. Seven’s example also teaches me, as a writer, to work harder to break

Revision is not a dirty word

By Julie Lessman When I finished my first novel A Passion Most Pure over six years ago, revision was a dirty word. I mean, my keyboard was still warm from giving birth to this epic dream of mine, and the brunt of the labor was basically done, right? Uh, no. As author Michael Lee so aptly states, “The first draft reveals the art, revision reveals the artist.” So once I got off the birthing table and learned THAT lesson, the process of revision became what author Bernard Malamud calls “one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.” And for me, it truly is! So what are my favorite revision rules of thumb? I’m glad you asked. Five Top Writing Tips I Could NOT Do Without: 1.) The writer classic: Show rather than tell! EXAMPLE: Mitch leaned forward, furious with her. BETTER: Mitch jerked forward, the muscles in his jaw tensing. 2.) Ditch the “ly” adverbs and go for powerful verbs to convey your emotions. My writer’s Bible is The Synonym Finder by J.A. Rodale—wonderful tool! EXAMPLE: She glance

Character conflicts, part three

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by Mary Connealy Click here for part two Once you have the internal conflict the characters begin to take shape. Because the internal conflict is often rooted in their past, their internal conflict is part of developing three dimensional characters. As you do that, you start to know how the h/h will react, what drives them, how will they speak and move. What sets them off, and what gets past their defenses? You know you’ve written a really good book when you dig a chasm between them so deep that it’s almost (did I say almost? I meant absolutely) impossible to breach it. I wrote a novel once where I thought I’d have to bag the story. I just couldn't solve their problem—they were both right—neither of them had any reason to give, each of them would actually be wrong to give in, and it didn't even make sense for them to give. You know you're on to something when the conflict is this juicy, this much of a stumbling block, the only thing that will get th

Character conflicts, part two

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by Mary Connealy Click here for part one It's easy to muddle internal and external conflict. The external conflict bleeds into the internal conflict and before you know it, it's hard to say which is which. Here are some examples of external conflict from my own books. External Conflict Sophie’s no-account husband taught her the hard way to do everything herself before he was hanged as a horse thief. Clay grew up in the Rocky Mountains with his fur trapping father and no women anywhere. Idyllic. Now he’s injured and at the mercy of a woman and her four daughters and not a one of them will mind him. In Petticoat Ranch I've created one of my favorite external conflicts. She’s been surviving with her own strength for years, starting long before her husband died. He’s barely spoken to a woman. All he knows is: The men are supposed to be in charge. She’s heard that too, but what if the orders he gives are stupid? For the perfect external conflict ju

Building a fiction platform

Literary agent Rachelle Gardner asked a few fiction authors what they did/do to build their marketing platforms. I was one of them! Go check it out: Fiction Platform There's a lot of good information from all the authors she interviewed.

Character conflicts, part one

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by Mary Connealy What would Gone with the Wind be like if Scarlett and Rhett had gotten along beautifully from the very beginning? What if Romeo and Juliet had been fixed up by their parents who were close friends? What if Ariel hadn't been a mermaid wearing a girl suit? Would we even remember them, would we have kept turning the pages? Conflict is what hooks a reader and makes the story interesting. If everyone gets along fine, there's no book. A romance novel needs each character to have two conflicts, an external conflict and an internal conflict. Yes, you can have an "it's us against the world" theme. Yes, you can write a book where the h/h are compatible and work for a common goal, but that's not a romance novel—that’s the Peace Corp. If you want to write within the romance formula, get yourself an external and internal conflict. External conflict is the easy one for me. External really is only one because it's the story—the plot—the mess you make tha

Afraid of Rejection? Who Isn't?

Afraid of Rejection? Who Isn’t? By Ruth Logan Herne From the time of our first play date, (definitely not called that when I was in knickers!) when some pompous three-year-old turned her back, snubbing our toys, leaving us out of the inner circle of the sandbox, rejection has been a part of our life. At age three, most of us don’t have the savvy to shrug our shoulders and walk away, unperturbed. Unfortunately the same is true at thirty. I think it gets better around forty. Fifty? Piece of cake…. But, here’s the deal. Rejection is a part of life. Not one of our favorite parts, but nothing we can’t move beyond, either. The trick is, don’t take it personal. I know, I know, that’s easier said than done. When we hear ‘no’ in response to our work, our queries, proposals, manuscripts, agent pleas, etc., we visualize “I don’t want you.” Or, “I don’t like your stuff.” Or, worse yet, “I don’t like your stuff, I don’t want you, why on earth did you bother me, don’t quit your day job….” Top salesp

Critique Partners and Groups, part two

Critique Partners and Groups: Viable Help, Coffee Clutch, or Cheerleading Section? by Ruth Logan Herne Click here for part one Examine your group, its principles, goals and desires. If they don’t match yours, be brave enough to change. Move on or seek an outside critiquer in addition to your present group. This can be done without hurt as long as you’re discreet. After all, your present partners may work fine with someone else. The mixed dynamics of your group could be skewed and you might be the “skewer”. In any case, make the changes necessary to be the best you can be. Don’t settle, don’t simper, don’t pause on the way out the door if that’s what you need to do. Set your goal and work toward that aspiration with focus and strength. If you’ve got what it takes, it will happen. I firmly believe that. So get off the wall, dust off your butt, do what has to be done. There isn’t a facet of this industry that allows wallowing, even to the greats. Generally speaking, those who wal

Critique Partners and Groups, part one

Critique Partners and Groups: Viable Help, Coffee Clutch, or Cheerleading Section? by Ruth Logan Herne The title says it all. Is your critique partner or group an asset? Are you the best you can be to them? Are they a boon to your writing? Do they point out problems while encouraging you to make necessary changes for possible publication? Or is your group a social club? Long minutes of fun, casual conversation, a glass of tea, some writing talk, a bit of gossip, lamenting, followed by an abbreviated critique time? Maybe they love your work so much they can’t find a thing wrong with it, it’s just so good, oh, my goodness, why on earth aren’t you published, you know you should be!!!!! Ahem. Critiquing is an art and discipline like any other part of writing. It’s a lot like raising children. The whys and wherefores of other people’s flawed children are obvious to us. We have an outside view and can understand why ‘Johnny’ does what he does because his parents: 1. Never got u

Churchill Said It Best, part two

by Ruth Logan Herne Click here for part one First, we’re close to our work. It swims in our heads, dances in our brains, invades our spirits. We lose the objectivity because we’re involved in the account. (Okay, sometimes too involved.) That’s where the ‘book of your heart’ comes in, through that very process. But the heart and the head are quite different, and a good tale needs the best of both. Sure, Denise loved Goofus. Or thought she did. He was, after all, daring, inventive, aggressive, cocky and intelligent. But he got caught, and now he’s doing six-to-ten in Attica. Poor baby. And our little Denise, caught in her fog of distrust and betrayal? How will she ever cope? My heart might say that she’d think and pray, contemplate her bad choices, vow to give up men forever as simply not worth the bother, and consider a convent. Right up until she meets Gallant and realizes that all men are not created equal! My head says she should have a ceremonial cleansing party, burn everything the

Trends in the Christian fiction market

Literary agent Rachelle Gardner posted this awesome update on the current trends in CBA . Just to let you know: This update is referring to what publishers are BUYING NOW, not necessarily what they'll be buying in a few months, so don't start that new historical unless you can finish it in three months or so.

Churchill Said It Best, part one

by Ruth Logan Herne “Gentlemen,” offered the esteemed head of state of the entire United Kingdom, “Nevah, nevah, nevah give up.” That was the extent of Winston Churchill’s commencement address to the graduating class of his alma mater. A school where, by the way, the headmaster had scolded that the young Churchill would never amount to anything. Ah, yes. Churchill said more in those seven words than many of us say in a lifetime. He was clear and succinct. It made an impression. Still does. When we write, we use words. Big, small, short, long: They’re all words. Our power is in the usage. Not the overusage. As we write, we feel the need to explain. How many times have you read an otherwise good book, well-written, great POV, strong plot, delightful characters to either love or hate, where the conflict is presented to you first through dialogue, then thought, then shared confidence with a friend/sister/priest/minister/mother/father… Then again in reflection or conscience. We get it, alre

Dare to be Different, part 2

by Ruth Logan Herne Click here for part one We, as writers, are actually at a remarkable time in the romance industry. At this very moment, we are at a juncture as evidenced by the ongoing controversy of “Women’s Fiction” vs. “Romance”. Chick lit, Mommy lit, even Lad lit (okay, that’s just scary), are all taking their place in the publishing industry because the reading public buys them. Readers clamor for good stories. Great writing. And while I understand that certain imprints work well within specific demographics, I am very pleased to see the market opening up to various types of romantic literature that isn’t simply qualified as ‘Romance’. The tag has acquired industrial built-in restraints that don’t work well with all authors, and that’s okay. I’m a firm believer in stretching your options. Trying your wings. Testing the water. Grandma used to hold my babies and say, “When they stretch, they grow.” Physiologically, I’m not sure that’s fact, but then the whole chicken soup theor

Dare to be Different, part 1

by Ruth Logan Herne “Dare to be different, Life is so full Of people who follow The same push and pull…” Helen Lowrie Marshall, A Gift So Rare Like any group of artists, writers tend to be ‘different’. A little ‘out there’. Introspective, fanciful, imaginative. Sometimes downright analytical and chilling. (Joseph Wambaugh, Stephen King.) We don’t necessarily wear it on our sleeves like the art community. No aprons dotted with splotches of paint, no palette to clean, brushes to soak, the scent of turpentine a daily perfume. We don’t have to care about northern vs. southern exposure, or brightness against shadow. Most of us don’t wear long, flowy gowns and flowers in our hair, with clinking baubles like you see along the sidewalks of the Cape in summertime. As entertainers of the print industry, we don’t need to produce a show or concert. We have no need to hire a band or create special effects. We live a more cloistered existence at our computer desks or dining room tables, pounding

Evoking emotional memory

The charm he exuded almost overwhelmed her. Anger surged through him, burning behind his eyes. Nervousness settled in her knees, making them wobble. I read these sentences, but I don't feel what the characters felt. The sentences distance me from the characters. One thing the first page has to do is grab your reader and rivet them to the story. One way is to pull the reader into the character's skin. The reader becomes the character, feeling and thinking as if they are that person. They feel what the character feels. This calls for more subtlety and vivid word choices. Describe physical sensations so that your reader will feel it too. There are certain words, turns of phrase, cadences that trigger a similar physical reaction in your reader so they actually almost physically feel what the character feels. I popped the lemon slice in my mouth, biting down hard on the soft fruit flesh, feeling the liquid squirt throughout my mouth, zapping my tongue. Now confess, didn't your

Not for the faint of heart

Mary Connealy and I did a tag-team set of blog posts over at the Seekerville blog about book reviews being like contest judging: It never ends Okay Students, Let's REVIEW This isn't a pep talk, just to warn you. It's more like a reality check. We're not complaining about reviews, but we are trying to get writers to understand that it's not all 5-star fun and games once you're published, and that your weirdo contest judge comments might actually be useful one day when your book is on a bookstore shelf.