Skip to main content

Revisions - Dialogue tags

The writing book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King (second edition) is one of the best books for bumping your writing up to the next level and making it look more professional. If you haven’t read this book yet, I strongly suggest you buy it or borrow it and read it right away.

They suggest eliminating dialogue tags in favor of action beats. For example, instead of he asked, she said, he demanded, replace the dialogue tags with action beats whenever possible.

The reason is that dialogue tags are often redundant. Many times, it’s already obvious who is speaking.

The dialogue itself can sometimes indicate how the character is speaking, with what emotion.

And dialogue tags are often accompanied with an –ly adverb, which can be “telling” the reader the emotion when you should “show” it instead. “Did you have to kill the postman?” he demanded angrily.

Dave sailed into the kitchen. “How are you doing, Mary?” He stopped short.

“I’m just waving around a bloody knife.” She gave a bland smile as she circled a limp wrist.

His eyebrows slammed down to obscure his eyes. “Did you have to kill the postman?”


Action beats have the added bonus of giving the reader more insight into the character emotions than dialogue tags. For example, a character’s nervous gesture during a casual dialogue line can reveal inner turmoil or a deceptive personality.

Go through and try to rewrite as many dialogue tags as you can. Sometimes, you can eliminate the tags entirely. Other times, you’ll need to add an action beat.

P.S. Don’t go overboard on action beats! You don’t need too many, just a few to punctuate the dialogue. That’s another post...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Building a blog

This article originally appeared as a series of blog posts in November and December 2008 . Here are all the posts collected together. Building a blog These days, blogging is a great way to express yourself and/or to market a product you might have. Blogging is cheap, easy, and can be a lot of fun. But while anyone can blog, how do you create an effective blog? Here are a few tips, broken down into Blogging Logistics and Blog Content. (Before I begin, I also want to mention that blogging isn’t for everyone. Not everyone likes to blog, and that’s perfectly fine. I think that no one should feel forced to blog—if you don’t like blogging, then don’t blog. But if you do enjoy blogging, this is a series of articles to help you make a better blog.) Blogging Logistics: Blog consistently. Good blogs have bloggers who post consistently and often. Most of these bloggers post five days a week, taking Saturday and Sunday off since blogs usually have lower traffic on weekends. Ideally, a blogger who ...

How to write a kiss

There was a question on the writer’s Discord server that I’m on where someone asked how to write a kiss. They weren’t specifically asking me, but I was able to give a short answer for how I write kisses. I write and read traditional romances, so my kiss scenes tend to be heavily influenced by the genre and by how my editors critiqued my manuscripts. You basically want to focus on the emotion of the kiss and how the kiss makes the point of view character feel, as opposed to going deep into physical detail. Ideally, the description will show that the kiss is something special and not just them macking. For example the kiss made her feel ___. Or the kiss was ___ which made it seem that he felt ___ for her. “The kiss made her feel as if she were incredibly precious to him.” “His lips were gentle and almost tentative, as if he were afraid of frightening her.” “The kiss surprised her and yet felt as familiar as if they’d kissed a thousand times before. The kiss felt like home.” I...

Writing Fight Scenes

I love martial arts movies and action flicks. So naturally I'd write action scenes. I discovered that it takes a slightly different writing style. These are some of the things I learned, although this list isn't exhaustive by any means. Action-Reaction A fight scene is always Action-Reaction. He punches, she staggers back. She kicks, he blocks and swings a fist at her. Watch out for putting your reaction before your action: She staggered back when he slammed his fist into her shoulder. The rule of thumb is to have each action-reaction have its own paragraph, although that’s not always possible. Sometimes the sentences are too short for their own paragraphs and can be combined. It’s up to the writer how to format it: He swung a roundhouse punch. She bent backward and felt his knuckles swish past her nose. versus: He swung a roundhouse punch. She bent backward and felt his knuckles swish past her nose. Short sentences = fast reading flow Use short sentences and phrases to make re...