Skip to main content

Hiding Emotion

by Ronie Kendig from Double Crit editing service

Joan stared at the device. A bomb. She’d expect no less of those who’d come after her. Would motion set it off? Afraid to move, she prayed.

From nowhere, Joshua appeared. He rushed toward the explosive. “I’ll handle this.” He defused the bomb before she could answer.


Enjoyable? Fulfilling? I think not. Too often we write deus ex machina into our story—God from a machine (a concept derived from Greek tragedies)—where a hero/god swoops in and saves the day. Maybe that’s our way of trying to protect our character. Have you ever done that? Become so immersed in your story, that an idea pops into your head. And you think, “Oh, that would be very bad. I can’t let that happen.”

How do you respond? Do you let the “very bad” thing happen? Or do you pad protective clutter around your character and story, stifling what could very well be a powerful, emotional experience? I say, LET GO! Let your character experience pain. Allow the villain or circumstance to rip your hero/heroine’s life apart. Isn’t that what often happens in our lives? How many times have you heard friends or loved ones ask how God could allow something to happen? Pain exists. We aren’t protected (not completely) from it. Don’t let your characters hide behind your shields. Sure, you might feel the pain vicariously. But then, so will your reader.

Too often, we let superficial wounds carry the story and conflict. I mean, if it’s superficial, then I’d say it’s a boo-boo, not a wound. Wouldn’t you? Your characters (like us) are resilient. They’ll bounce back (after all, you control the ending…to some degree). Without those wounds, they can’t grow and develop. Who wants one-dimensional characters? So dig deep. Write deep. WOUND DEEP.

Double Crit is a unique freelance editing service that offers high-level critiques of fiction book proposals and manuscripts from two experienced editors. Whether you’re preparing for a conference or getting ready to submit your manuscript to editors or agents, we can help.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Writing Fight Scenes

I love martial arts movies and action flicks. So naturally I'd write action scenes. I discovered that it takes a slightly different writing style. These are some of the things I learned, although this list isn't exhaustive by any means. Action-Reaction A fight scene is always Action-Reaction. He punches, she staggers back. She kicks, he blocks and swings a fist at her. Watch out for putting your reaction before your action: She staggered back when he slammed his fist into her shoulder. The rule of thumb is to have each action-reaction have its own paragraph, although that’s not always possible. Sometimes the sentences are too short for their own paragraphs and can be combined. It’s up to the writer how to format it: He swung a roundhouse punch. She bent backward and felt his knuckles swish past her nose. versus: He swung a roundhouse punch. She bent backward and felt his knuckles swish past her nose. Short sentences = fast reading flow Use short sentences and phrases to make re...

How to write a kiss

There was a question on the writer’s Discord server that I’m on where someone asked how to write a kiss. They weren’t specifically asking me, but I was able to give a short answer for how I write kisses. I write and read traditional romances, so my kiss scenes tend to be heavily influenced by the genre and by how my editors critiqued my manuscripts. You basically want to focus on the emotion of the kiss and how the kiss makes the point of view character feel, as opposed to going deep into physical detail. Ideally, the description will show that the kiss is something special and not just them macking. For example the kiss made her feel ___. Or the kiss was ___ which made it seem that he felt ___ for her. “The kiss made her feel as if she were incredibly precious to him.” “His lips were gentle and almost tentative, as if he were afraid of frightening her.” “The kiss surprised her and yet felt as familiar as if they’d kissed a thousand times before. The kiss felt like home.” I...

The 50-word elevator pitch

The 50-word elevator pitch: Basic story elements and a two-sentence novel summary Writing a 50-word summary is good to help you condense your thoughts and themes for your novel. This summary can be used when you pitch to editors or agents, and it can also be used in a query letter to an editor or agent. Swain gives this excellent method to come up with a 2-sentence (or 50-word) summary of your novel. This can be done before you write it or afterward, whichever works best for your writing style. This is similar to steps 1 and 2 of Randy Ingermanson's Snowflake method : https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/ Each novel typically has five basic story elements: Character --Your protagonist or focal character. You can sometimes have two protagonists, but even then, often the story of one character is slightly more dominant than the other. Situation --The troubling situation your character is stuck in that forces him to act. Objective --What y...