Story Sensei

This is continuing my series on things to look for in your first page. Click here for part eight. Make every word count This goes back to how you only have one page to hook an editor. If that editor isn’t hooked by that first page, he or she will move the entire manuscript to the Reject pile without even bothering to go to page two. That being the case, you should expend considerable effort to not have any useless words on that first page. Make every description juicy and unique, without any “throw-away” words or phrases. Make every line of dialogue snappy and emotional, without unnecessary tags or adverbs. Make every sentence concise and precise—nothing meandering or vague or fluffy. Introduce your character with clear but unique descriptors, whether in dialogue or by action. Don’t waste time with backstory and “telling” the reader what’s happening—suck the reader in to “show” them what’s happening as it happens to the character. Dwight Swain has an entire chapter in his book Techniq...

This article I wrote originally appeared on Suite101. Head-Hopping What It Is and Why To Avoid It Many beginning writers utilize quick switches in point of view, which is not used as often these days in the publishing industry. Twenty years ago, omniscient point of view was commonly used in fiction. However, these days, a deep third person point of view is preferred most of the time (there are exceptions, naturally). In deep third person point of view, the writing is in third person but the language drops the reader into the character’s head and body. When the point of view shifts to a different character in the midst of a scene, this is called head-hopping because the reader feels as if he is hopped from one character’s head into another. Moving the reader from one character to the other so many times will often disorient the reader. This will also not allow the reader to feel connected with any one character in the scene. This reduces character sympathy and the reader m...

I wrote this article, which originally appeared on Suite101, on how to take a cliche and make it something wonderful. Tweak a Cliché Into Something Original Take a Tired Phrase and Make It Zing Utilize a writer’s voice, a writer’s brand, phrase additions, and key words to change clichéd phrases into fresh prose. The old saying, “There’s nothing new under the sun” is very true and a death knoll for writers. How can writers come up with fresh prose when it’s all been done before? How can writers avoid using clichés when sometimes there’s no other way to say something? Utilize Your Unique Writer’s Voice There is often a way you say things that is uniquely you—utilize it in your prose. Here’s an example from my book, Single Sashimi : Venus Chau opened the door to her aunt’s house and almost fainted. “What died?” She exhaled sharply, trying to get the foul air out of her body before it caused cancer or something. The last sentence, especially, people have remarked sounds v...

This is continuing my series on things to look for in your first page. Click here for part four. Establish the tone or atmosphere of the story In addition to using key words to indicate genre, use key words to develop a certain feel to the writing, setting, and story in that first page. Remember, you are dumping the reader in a completely new story world. You want them to be able to know what type of story this is going to be right off the bat. If they’re expecting a gripping, emotional story and the first page is heavy with action, they’re going to close the book. If your story is going to be humorous, start it out humorously. Also, use key words that indicate whether it’s dry British humor or slapstick comedy or sarcastic chick lit. If it’s going to be a roller-coaster ride, start it out quickly. Use strong words and sharp sentences to strap the reader in for a wild read. If it’s going to be deeply emotional, start it out emotionally. Use words that evoke strong emotional responses s...

This is continuing my series on things to look for in your first page. Click here for part three. Indicate the genre When an editor opens your book, he/she should be able to tell what your genre is right off the bat. Genre does not have to be established in the first line, but it should be fairly obvious by the end of the first page. You don’t want to open your story with: The wagon train left a dust cloud that Shep could see from seven miles away. when your story is a contemporary thriller. Use key words to indicate to the editor/reader what genre your novel is. Certain words or phrases are indicative of different genres by tapping associations in a reader’s mind. “Glock” will usually indicate a suspense or thriller or crime drama. “Wagon train” will usually indicate a Western or a historical prairie romance. “Desire” in context will typically clue the reader in to the fact that the story is a romance of some sort. Another benefit of indicating genre in the first page is that it will ...

Brainstorming is one of my favorite parts of writing fiction, but I'm very careful to make sure my brainstorming time isn't just time wasted daydreaming. This article I wrote originally appeared on Suite101. Effective Brainstorming How to Make the Most of Collecting Ideas Brainstorming all aspects of a story can be made more effective and efficient with these simple tips. Brainstorming is one of the most powerful tools in a writer’s arsenal. A writer can brainstorm all aspects of a novel, from large scale to small scale. A writer can brainstorm high level element like theme and premise. A writer can also brainstorm mid level story elements like character personality, external goals, backstory, career. Also story setting, possible villains, etc. A lesser known but equally powerful use for brainstorming is for very small scale elements like a character’s goal for a particular scene, possible character decisions in a scene, variety of conflict or obstacles in a scen...

I recently got a few questions on what episodic writing is. Earlier, I posted the link to an article on episodic writing , but I also wanted to address it myself. In this article, which originally appeared on Suite101, I talk about how to recognize it, and some things to get rid of it. Make the Character Proactive Rather Than Reactive Eliminate episodic scenes by giving the character an External Goal, Obstacles against that goal, and Forward Movement in the story. A story is more than just good writing. A story plot must have forward motion and a sense of movement that pulls the reader along. Sometimes writers will get feedback that their story “lacks purpose” or is “episodic.” What exactly does that mean? Episodic Writing is Reactive Writing in Vignettes. A character needs more than just to fall into an alternate world and face Scary Monsters. He needs to have a purpose and doggedly pursue that purpose. If he simply goes from one Bad Thing to another, the story lacks direc...

In this article, originally published on Suite101, I'm giving tips on how to plunk your reader into your story world on page one without confusing them or making them feel like they've been drop-kicked into an alien culture. This is important because you want to introduce the setting and make the reader feel at home, and often you only have the first page to do that. It's not impossible! Immersing the Reader in the Novel Story World Skillfully drop the reader into the setting of the story by intriguing them without confusing them. The hardest place to set your reader down into your story world is the first page. But the reality is that readers in a bookstore and editors paging through thousands of manuscripts will usually only give you one page to catch their interest. One page. That first page must hook the reader and orient them in the novel story world without confusing them. It’s a tall order, which is why it’s best for novelists to spend the most time revi...

One of the Steeple Hill editors forwarded this link to an article on Episodic Writing that is simply fabulous: Plotting Problems - Episodic Writing

Originally this article appeared on Gina Conroy's blog , but a few people were deterred because for some reason the page takes a while to load. So here's the article in full. I run a critique service called the Story Sensei, and I’ve also judged a fair number of writing contests through RWA, in addition to coordinating the ACFW Genesis contest. I’ve noticed a few commonalities in the manuscripts I’ve critiqued and judged, and Gina asked me to share. So here is: The top ten mistakes I see in manuscripts: 10) Inadequate use of point of view. I’m not talking about head-hopping. I’m talking about a very distant use of point of view that doesn’t get the reader into the character’s head or feeling the character’s emotions. For a first chapter, especially, this is crucial. If the reader isn’t immediately sucked into the character’s mind and body, if the reader doesn’t care about the character, they’re going to put the book down. This leads to the next mistake: 9) Inadequat...

(Don't forget to comment on my online class idea.) I just found this great resource called AutoCrit . It analyzes your writing to catch words and phrases repeated and overused in your manuscript. From the contest judging and freelance editing jobs I have done, I know that other writers as well as myself have a tendency to repeat words and/or phrases, not just our “hot words.” For example, “pop” is not a word I use often, but I might write something like: I went to the local mom and pop grocery to grab a soda pop, and then I popped out of town. The free version is very limited and will only catch overused words, repeated phrases, and sentence variation. You can also only submit 800 words 5 times in one day. The paid versions offer more, included repeated words (which would catch the “pop” above), dialogue tags, first words, and names and pronouns. The free version itself is amazing. The cost for the lowest level of membership isn’t bad, just $20 for one year, and it analyzes the th...

The faboo writers at the FAITH blog ask me some great writing questions.

Come by and visit Gina Conroy’s blog for the top ten mistakes I see in fiction manuscripts. Update : Sorry guys, originally I posted this on the 12th, but Gina's post is actually up TODAY, March 14th.

First person internal thoughts also tend to be a lot of backstory, which slows down the reading flow. It might be fun and quirky narrative, but it’s still a backstory dump however you look at it. Mom ran off years ago with the family lawyer, and while I can’t say Dad was all that great, the lawyer was worse. She finally clued in when she found him groping his admin in his office one day. Mom, being Mom, told him, “I have decided to seek new legal representation.” And then she walked out. Anyway, the entire incident has made her gunshy about hiring any lawyers, which is why she now bothers me to bother my boyfriend, who will give her free legal counsel without the inconvenience of actually paying for it. Gasp! The cure for this is the same as in third person POV: a) Give only snippets of backstory, not a whole bunch at once. b) Mention backstory only when it’s absolutely vital to the current action. c) Make a character absolutely need to know—that way your reader will also absolutely ne...

In first person POV, especially, writers have a great deal of narrative and internal thoughts. While that narrative tends to have some conflict in it, too much narrative means less movement in the scene. And you can’t really substitute true conflict (action and dialogue) with the conflict in a long paragraph of internal thought—the scene drags and meanders. I look at the call waiting. It’s my mother. Mom has this annoying habit of calling right when I’m about to watch CSI . Even though I’ve told her again and again that she can’t call on this particular night at this particular time, she blithely ignores me. I might as well be talking to the cat. And at least the cat answers with a polite meow. Mother barely acknowledges I’ve spoken, much less what I’ve said. All this narrative is more “telling” than “showing.” Instead of all this internal thought, why not show the information in action and dialogue? I look at the call waiting. It’s my mother. I stab the TALK button. “Mom, it’s CSI ni...

In a lot of the chick lit entries I judge in contests, first person POV is not done very well. Since the reader is reading first person, the reader should actually be in the character’s skin and experiencing the scene through them. People like writing first person POV because it’s easy—but it’s actually rather difficult to write with power and vibrancy. While each writer has different strengths and weakness, in general, the entries I judge lack enough conflict and action. Not much happens, and there isn’t a lot of tension. In first person POV, this is a common problem because it’s so easy to fall into internal thoughts and narrative instead. “Do you want a cookie?” I hand the plate to Amelia. She’s a size two. I wish I was a size two. I eye a couple of the chocolate-laden golden-brown goodies. Just one won’t hurt me. Amelia glances at the plate, then goes back to sorting through her charm collection. “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.” Her charms fascinate me. She’s had some for generations...

Clichés are not just in phrases (“he ran his fingers through is hair,” “her heart pounded”). Clichés can be larger scale—your characters, your setting, your plot premise. The problem is that often, these larger scale clichés are not so easily realized. For example, there are a LOT of pastor heroes in Inspirational romance. Editors were commenting that they’d like to see less stories with pastor heroes. However, as a writer, unless you heard the editor say this at a conference, you wouldn’t know. So how can you find these things out? You should be reading extensively in the genre in which you’re writing. Why? So you can discover what’s already been done in your genre, so you don’t repeat it. If you haven’t read many Inspirational romances, but you’re targeting Steeple Hill, you wouldn’t know that there have been a lot of pastor heroes in the past few years. However, if you’ve been reading Steeple Hill novels, you would know that. You don’t have to read every single title that comes out,...

Does your hero run his fingers through his hair? Does your heroine bite her bottom lip? Or maybe your hero squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose when he’s frustrated. Maybe your heroine’s gut clenches or she swallows hard when hearing bad news. Perhaps your hero clenches his jaw, or sees red. Perhaps your heroine feels ice water in her veins when she’s shocked, or a fluttering in her chest when she’s excited. Cliches—DON’T. Don’t use the same gestures or descriptions for your characters that you’ve read in dozens of other novels. BE ORIGINAL. The heroine’s heart doesn’t pound—it does a combination triple-axel double-lutz worthy of Michelle Kwan. The hero doesn’t feel his stomach drop—he’s a hanging victim with the clunk of the trapdoor ringing in his ears, waiting for his feet to register that he’s dangling in mid-air. A great resource for original descriptions is literary fiction (if you can read it). But don’t copy them—use it as a jumping off point for your own u...

Even if you’re a seat of the pants writer, try doing a sketchy outline. Many of my friends sell books on proposal, which means they write three chapters and an outline of the book, not the entire manuscript. When their publisher okays the proposal, they write the book based on the outline. Sometimes the book changes from the outline, but just having the outline can help a writer focus their story better. A sketchy outline can be as simple as four sentences— One sentence for the character’s beginning world, and the inciting incident that starts them on their external goal. One sentence for the middle, and the kinds of things that will directly obstruct the character’s external goal. One sentence for the climax and the black moment. One sentence to explain how things wrap up at the end. See? Very sketchy, and very simple. Yet sometimes even a sketchy outline will help a writer in amazing ways as they write their book.

Readers read because they care about the story. Let me repeat that—they care about the story. Caring involves emotions, which is why powerful stories evoke reader emotions. So how do you get your reader to care about the story? “You give them a stake in what happens.” –Dwight Swain When you start a scene, first of all pick a focal character for the reader to follow. This is also why one-point-of-view-per-scene has become more preferred by editors. When there’s one person for the reader to follow, it makes it easier to engage that reader’s emotions. The focal character doesn’t have to be the protagonist. It can be the antagonist, or it can be a secondary character. It can be someone the reader likes or someone the reader hates with a passion. Regardless, pick one person as the focal character for the scene. Then, give your focal character something to win or lose in that scene. Give them something at stake in that scene. The reader will have someone to root for or against for that sce...