Story Sensei

This is a tip similar to writing synopses--if the sentence is not relevant, then get rid of it. Each sentence, each nugget of information should pertain to : --The main storyline. Typically, the story blurb doesn't take more than 1-3 paragraphs. --The main protagonists. The villain only if he/she is a very major character. --The characters' spiritual or emotional arcs, and the epiphany or realization at the end/climax. I'm not talking sentence after sentence. One sentence or phrase at the beginning about each character's emotional conflict, and (optional) one near the end about what he/she learns or realizes. --The characters' external goals and the major obstacles against those goals. Notice I said major obstacles. Leave the minor stuff out. Again, just a sentence or phrase about the characters' external goals. --An issue dealt with in the book. Say your heroine is an abuse victim. Then any information pertaining to that might be useful. However, don't go

Not all query letters are set up this way, but here's a quick and dirty skeleton structure: Date (I usually put September 13th, 2006 to make it look nicer) For editors: Name, title, house, address or For agents: Name, agency, address Greeting (make sure you address the person by name—for example, Dear Ms. Lawton) First paragraph. Some people start with a hook, some people start with the info line. It's up to you, although I have heard of some editors/agents who detest the hook opener, so I usually play it safe and start with the info line. I am excited to present my novel, The Twelve Dates of Christmas , a completed 45,000 word Inspirational Christmas romance set in San Jose, California. Story blurb. Typically they're one to two paragraphs long, and they can be similar to back cover blurb. Risa Takayama would rather eat rotten tofu than listen to her aunts’ tweaking her about her weight and lack of a Significant Other. She’s the Elephant Man next to her Barbie-doll cou

In a query, your story blurb will either hook the editor or not. Here are some pointers. 1) Try to write it in the tone or voice of the novel. If your manuscript is a romantic comedy, make the blurb sound fun and flirty. If your novel is a dark thriller, make the blurb sound sinister and exciting. 2) It should name the main protagonists. The villain can also be named if he/she is a major protagonist. 3) The main protagonists' external goals should be clear. 4) There should be some hint of the major obstacle(s) in the protagonists' way. 5) A nice touch is to add a little info on the main protagonists' internal or spiritual conflicts. 6) Unlike a synopsis, you do not need to give away the ending, but you may if you prefer. Example: Risa Takayama would rather eat rotten tofu than listen to her aunts’ tweaking her about her weight and lack of a Significant Other. She’s the Elephant Man next to her Barbie-doll cousins, so she throws herself into her wedding accessories shop in t

Literary agent Kristin Nelson posted on her blog a few examples of query letters that caught her attention. Shanna Swendson Jennifer O’Connell Becky Motew Jana DeLeon Lisa Shearin

An editor will want to know how your character changes over the course of the book, so it’s important to include the character’s spiritual arc or arc of internal conflict. It’s pretty simple. In the first paragraph or two, mention the character’s flaw, or spiritual struggle, or internal conflict. Mary has given up on God and blames Him for her parents’ death. Josh has always felt a need to control the people in his life, influencing their decisions. After all, it’s for their own good. In the middle, show how the characters are coming to realize that their spiritual/internal state is wrong. Mary is intrigued by Alice’s strong faith despite the horrible things that have happened to her. Mary rethinks her lost faith in the face of Alice’s unwavering trust in God and assertion that she has no business questioning what God has allowed. Josh is shocked at his brother’s outburst, and wonders if it’s true that he’s trying to control his family like a set of tin soldiers. In the climax, show ho

While a synopsis is usually not your best writing, and a synopsis is all telling and no showing, you should nevertheless try to make the synopsis sound like your writer's voice and the tone of the story. If your story is poignant, try to make the synopsis sound that way. If your writer's voice is uniquely quirky and the story is, too, try to get that into the synopsis. Risa Takayama has no social life because she's thrown all her energies into her wedding accessories shop in the mall. Unconventional, rebellious Risa hates the numerous family gatherings because her aunts tweak her about her weight and lack of a Significant Other. vs. Risa Takayama would rather eat rotten tofu than listen to her aunts’ tweaking her about her weight. She’s the Elephant Man next to her Barbie-doll cousins with their Ken sidekicks, so she throws herself into her wedding accessories shop in the mall, All the Trimmings. She’s becoming so savvy and self-sufficient, she hasn’t needed to bother God f

There are some places where certain types of nouns and verbs can be eliminated entirely. Things like "He realizes", "She understands that," "He hears her say," "She sees him." He follows her. He sees her enter the hotel. vs. He follows her. She enters the hotel. He reads the family Bible. He discovers that Sally is his cousin. vs. He reads the family Bible. Sally is his cousin. His reaction opens her eyes. She realizes she's always been in love with him. vs. His reaction opens her eyes. She's always been in love with him. However, be aware that sometimes, these verbs can't be eliminated, so don't beat yourself up if you can't do it: They fight. She realizes she's always been in love with him. vs. They fight. She's always been in love with him. (doesn't make sense)

This is similar to tip #8. Sometimes you can substitute a different noun or verb that's a little shorter than what you have. Because the format is typically left justified, even one less letter in the sentence can be enough to eliminate a line (see tip #7 about getting rid of short lines). He sneaks up to the house. vs. He creeps to the house. He needs to stay out of her way. vs. He needs to avoid her. She leaves her job. vs. She quits.

Adjectives and adverbs are usually the easiest to cull from a synopsis. Sometimes you don't even need to change the noun or verb. Other times, a stronger noun or verb is needed. She determines to win without interference from her meddling friends. vs. She determines to win without interference from her friends. He is physically attracted to her. vs. He is attracted to her. or He lusts after her.

When you're down to only a few lines to go until your target page number, look for any paragraphs that end with a partial line, such as the example below: Sports-crazy Lex Sakai isn’t too worried about shouldering the unofficial family title “Oldest Single Female Cousin” when her cousin Mariko marries in a few months. Her control-freak grandma nags her about her lack of man, but it’s easy to ignore—until Grandma bellows at her in the middle of a restaurant that Lex can’t get a guy because she needs breast implants. Bristling at the challenge, Lex insists there’s nothing wrong with her—Grandma says to prove it. If Lex can’t find a boyfriend by Mariko’s wedding in June, her ruthless Grandma will cut off funding to the girls’ volleyball team that Lex coaches. And pay for breast implants. (14 lines) Cut words here and there in the paragraph until that last line disappears. Sports-crazy Lex Sakai isn’t worried about shouldering the unofficial family title “Oldest Single Female Cousin”

Some editors and agents have admitted they don't read the synopsis when your proposal or manuscript hits their desk. So if that's the case, why even bother to invest so much time into it? The truth is that some editors and agents do read your synopsis. And if it gets taken to editorial committee, it's likely that the VP of Sales or the VP of Marketing will read your synopsis, not your manuscript. They're looking at the marketability of the book. The synopsis is important to let them know several things: 1) The characters are likable, with faults and flaws 2) The characters learn something on a spiritual level by the end of the book, with a solid spiritual takeaway for the reader. 3) There is definite rising tension and various obstacles in the middle of the book 4) There is an exciting climax where the reader roots for the character 5) There is a satisfying ending. 6) There is an issue or theme that would appeal to readers and which can be marketed, but which isn't

Don’t mention a character by name unless they appear more than twice in the synopsis AND each appearance is vital to the plot. Mentioning too many names can be not only confusing, it can lengthen your synopsis. Refer to the minor character as “her neighbor” or “his old flame.”

Don’t describe the characters’ every action unless that action directly influences the main plot: She kicks the villain’s kneecap and runs outside. She tries to start the car, but it won’t turn over. The villain comes closer. Finally the car starts and she guns out of the driveway. Versus She escapes. Be especially wary of verbosity in the ending of the synopsis: He grabs her to force her to look at him. He tells her he loves her and can’t live without her. He’d held back while he thought she still loved his brother, but he’s done with the safe path. He can’t hold it in any longer and risks telling her how he feels. She tells him she loves him, too, and they share a passionate kiss. He asks her to marry him, and she answers yes. In the epilogue, they are married from his yacht before sailing off to Bermuda for their honeymoon. Versus They confess their love to each other and marry. The editor or agent does not need a blow-by-blow version of your emotional or climactic scenes, because t

Cut absolutely anything that does not have direct impact on the main storyline. Be ruthless. Don’t leave things in because they pertain to a subplot. Don’t go off for too long (more than a few sentences) on a red herring. Don’t include character backstory that doesn’t absolutely need to be there in order to explain the main plot. Don’t describe characters’ physical features unless it’s a vital element to the story (such as the hero mistakes a red-head for the heroine).

Cut out any mention of the subplot. Be ruthless. Even if the subplot gives a bit of depth to the hero because it tells the reader about his life as a drug runner in Brazil, if it doesn’t directly impact the main plotline of saving the heroine’s ranch, don’t include it. Some subplots do influence the main plot near the end of the book. Here you have a couple choices: 1) Pare down the mention of the subplot to the absolute minimum needed for the ending to make sense. Maybe a sentence in the beginning of the synopsis, and then a sentence at the end when it impacts the main plot. 2) Eliminate mention of the subplot completely and insert something near the end to make the ending make sense. Don’t do more than that for subplots if you can absolutely help it.

Eliminate any repetition. If you mention something once—say the hero left the heroine five years ago—don’t mention it again. For example: After a five year absence, Ronald McDonald returns to Birdy’s life . . . A paragraph later: A different man than he was five years ago, Ronald is still in love with Birdy . . . Don’t mention the five years again. Cut it: Now more spiritually mature, Ronald is still in love with Birdy . . . (Thanks to Dineen Miller for the idea of this example)

Check your formatting. Make sure all your margins are 1 inch. Make your header ½ inch from the top. Make your header only one line with the manuscript title, the word “synopsis,” and your last name (e-mail address optional) on the left side, and then the page number (optional) on the right side. It’ll look something like this: BRILLIANT NOVEL/Synopsis/Tang 1 You don’t have to put the word “Synopsis” at the top of the actual text. Just start the synopsis text.

Randy Ingermanson has a famous (or infamous) “Snowflake” method of plotting that I use to write synopses. Now don’t have a coronary. It’s actually very easy, and I only use a couple of the 10 steps in the Snowflake method. I do step two (but read step one to know what he’s talking about), then step four. That’s it. I end up with a one or two page synopsis. For a longer synopsis, I do step six, which gives me a synopsis anywhere from 4-11 pages.

Sometimes people insist that fiction writers should start by writing non-fiction articles first. Some have even insisted they build up their article repertoire before starting on their novel. I don’t agree. Fiction is a different fish. Don’t get me wrong, article-writing is good, especially to collect clips and build your writer’s resume. But articles should directly pertain to your brand, genre, or the theme or issue in your novel. That way the clips have weight and meaning when you include them in your bio in a query letter. If your novel is a deep women’s fiction piece on alcoholism, and you have clips of articles you’ve written on alcoholism in e-zines or print magazines, an editor will feel you’re qualified to write that novel. If you only have articles on fly-fishing or parenting toddlers, the editor will wonder what that has to do with your novel. And don’t delay on starting that novel! If you do, it might never happen.

This is a really quick, easy way to write your synopsis. This is especially easy if you only need to write a chapter-by-chapter synopsis , which calls for only a few sentences for each chapter. Go through your manuscript and write one sentence for each scene. If the scene is long, write a couple sentences. Any significant spiritual or internal conflicts should be included, as well as major plot points, red herrings, symbolism, etc. That’s it. Go through your entire manuscript. This should give you a synopsis of about 6-10 pages single-spaced. From here, you cut your synopsis down to whatever length it needs to be.

Some editors or agents ask for a chapter-by-chapter synopsis. Not all of them do, so don’t automatically assume you need one. However, it’s the easiest type of synopsis to write, in my opinion. It’s simply a list of each chapter number, and then a couple sentences describing what happens in the chapter. Any significant spiritual or internal conflicts should be included, as well as major plot points, red herrings, symbolism, etc. The chapter-by-chapter synopsis will take the reader on a shortened version of the same ride you’ll give your novel reader, so include the dead ends and frustrations and obstacles that beset your characters. Each major character should be named, and minor characters can also be named if they have a significant impact on the storyline. However, peripheral characters shouldn’t be named in a chapter-by-chapter synopsis. I usually write a chapter-by-chapter synopsis first, then cut that down to a 1-2 page synopsis which I use for my proposals. Most proposals call f

Pitching to Editors and Agents at Conferences I'm not a natural extrovert, but I force myself to be one at conferences in order to meet writers, editors and agents. I want to present a professional demeanor and make a good impression. That's kind of hard to do when my mouth has suddenly become the Mojave desert and my legs have rooted through my Nine Wests into the floor. Smile Go on, force your mouth to stretch out and up. From my psychology classes, I know that just the action will make you feel better and help you relax. Buddy up There's nothing wrong with asking a friend to walk with you as you approach Agent X. Agents and editors are not monsters, nor do they bite. Many of them are not extroverts, either. They understand the nervousness of meeting someone new, especially if it's someone you WANT to meet. Your buddy doesn't have to do much more than stand there and smile. If the agent or editor asks, they can mention they're there for "moral

Synopses are traditionally in third person, but these days, there are a few in first person. It’s a matter of risk. Some editors or agents would be intrigued by a well-written synopsis in first person. Others would be turned off by it, and there’s no way of knowing what type of person will read your proposal. I personally believe in the safer route and would suggest that unpublished writers write their synopses in third person. However, there are success stories of some writers who landed a book contract with a synopsis in first person, so it’s not unheard of. The choice—and the risk—is yours as the writer. In this, get the opinions of your friends and other experienced and published writers. Have them look at your synopses to tell you which is better written, catchier, tighter. Ultimately, however, you will have to decide if you’d like to risk a first person synopsis or not.

Have your novel critiqued in August! Prices for the Story Sensei will increase as of September 1st. All you fabulous writers have until then if you’d like to have your manuscript critiqued at the old prices. Go here for more information on my services.

Novel Manuscript Format for CBA Publishers Things are a bit different between Christian publishers and mainstream publishers, so this article will mostly address the fiction guidelines of the major CBA publishers and agents. (Non-fiction guidelines may differ.) The following instructions for changing the formatting of your electronic document is for Microsoft Word versions older than 2007. I'm not familiar with Word Perfect or Word 2007, unfortunately, so in order to change your settings to the formatting mentioned below, you will need to do a website search for instructions (for example, you can Google “How to set margins in Word 2007”). Most publishing houses use Microsoft Word, whether the older versions or 2007. Printer: Use a good printer. Avoid dot-matrix printers entirely. If you do not own a printer, your pages can be printed out at your local print shop or office supply store for a modest price if you bring your document to them on a disk or CD. Paper: Should be

Drumroll, please . . . BookWritingBlog and Caroleah Congratulations! Each winner received: One free synopsis critique (up to 10 single-spaced pages) AND A coupon for 25% off any service (synopsis, query letter, or manuscript critique, full or partial manuscript) Mucho thanks to everyone who entered! If you entered but you haven’t yet gotten your 10% off coupon, please e-mail me at camy [at] camytang.com. All 10% off coupons are good toward any service, and they expire on December 31st, 2006. I'll be holding another contest/sale in December or January, so stay tuned!

A writers’ summer event! From now until July 15th, I will be holding a fabulous contest for my Story Sensei critique service. I will draw the names of TWO lucky winners! They will each receive: A free synopsis critique – up to 10 pages single-spaced, a $40 value! AND A coupon for 25% OFF any manuscript critique – whether full or partial manuscript, any number of words. For a 100,000 word manuscript, that’s a savings of $250! In addition, EVERYONE WHO ENTERS will receive a 10% OFF coupon for any service, whether synopsis, query letter, or manuscript critique (full or partial). For a 100,000 word manuscript, that’s a savings of $100, just for entering. Just post a comment on this Story Sensei blog to enter! Make sure you leave some way for me to contact you—whether e-mail, website address, or blog address. If leaving an e-mail, please use this format: you [at] youremail.com International writers are welcome to enter, but must either use electronic submissions or pay for postage both way

WritersReaders.com This is a great website and blog for writers. At www.WritersReaders.com you will receive the INSIDE information that is key to understanding what goes on behind the scenes of major New York trade publishers. Jerry Simmons, a former director of sales for Random House, runs this site. He also has a free ezine.

TECHNIQUES OF THE SELLING WRITER is considered a classic writing book. I personally found it extremely helpful to teach me the basics of plotting and structuring a novel, but the author tends to ramble in his instructions, which can be annoying. I’ve written articles based on Swain’s book in my writing articles blog, Camy’s Articles . Swain’s main concept, Scene and Sequel, is explained well in this article by Randy Ingermanson, “ Writing the Perfect Scene .” Another good book that not only explains some of Swain’s points but also expands on them is PLOT AND STRUCTURE by James Scott Bell .

Setting should be so integral to the plot that it’s almost like another character. Think about Gone With the Wind—Scarlett’s plantation, and the political, social, and physical landscape of the South played significant roles in both the plot and character development. Ideally, your setting should also play a vital role in the story, so that your story couldn’t happen anywhere else. You might want to brainstorm how key landmarks would play major roles in the storyline, in order to more fully integrate the story where you have set it. Update: As one reviewer mentioned on Writing.com, don’t take this to a cheesy, overused extreme—such as having it rain when a character is sad, thunder when a character is in danger, etc. I wasn’t talking about weather when mentioning setting. However, you don’t want your story to be set in Anywhere, USA, either. The most vivid stories tend to be deeply ingrained in their setting, so that the characters could only go through the story events in that partic

In general, any use of "felt," "heard," "saw," etc. borders on "telling" and draws the reader out of the character's deep Point of View. You can usually get rid of them, and it serves to tighten the prose, making it more vibrant and emotional. For example: He understood how much this would mean to her. He knew she’d be worried. versus This would mean a lot to her. She’d be worried. He prayed she’d understand why he did what he did. He could only hope she wouldn’t walk away. Versus Lord, please help her understand why I had to do it. She wouldn’t walk away, would she? You might want to go through your novel to seek and destroy those kinds of verbs. Although they’re action verbs, they distance the reader from the character. By getting rid of them and rewriting the sentences, you can draw the reader closer to the characters to feel their emotions more.

Main characters need concrete, physical external goals to carry them through the story. This is different from a character’s desires and motivations. External goals have a definite ENDING to them—the character knows definitely when they’ve either completed or failed at their external goal. For example, Carrie wants financial success. But that’s hard to define. How would she know when she’d achieved it? When would be that moment? But if Carrie had an external goal of paying back the last penny of her business loan before the bank forecloses, that’s definitive. She knows exactly when she’s succeeded—the act of paying the last installment—or when she fails—the bank forecloses. In GETTING INTO CHARACTER , Brandilyn Collins uses the terms “Desire” or “Super-Objective,” but it’s the same thing as an External Goal because she requires that the “Desire” be stated in ACTION TERMS, meaning what the character is going to DO. That’s their external goal.

I use Randy Ingermanson's Snowflake method , and I realized that the 5-sentence summary in step 2 is an easy, painless way of creating a 30-second verbal pitch. The 5-sentence summary consists of story setup, three plot disasters and lastly the ending/resolution. It made me break the storyline down into basic components, made sure I have those crucial three disasters, and also helped me to look at the pacing of those disasters. I'm pretty stoked. When I took Jan Coleman 's pitch workshop at Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference , she also mentioned a few important things to include, which I believe can be incorporated in the 5-sentence summary once that groundwork is laid: 1) The book genre—Chicklit, cozy mystery, Regency romance, etc. This can be mentioned in the first sentence. "In my Chicklit novel, Ashley is a bored urbanite seeking purpose, and she decides to bring her version of civilization to South African natives." (Genre and setup, sentence 1) 2) Ton

These days, editors prefer action beats to dialogue tags. Some are absolutely ballistic about them, some aren't. It's up to you, but I would suggest getting rid of as many dialogue tags as you can, just in case an editor happens to be a "tag nazi." Also, dialogue tags tend to "tell" rather than "show." Often, the tag is redundant because you already "show" in the line of dialogue what the tag "tells," such as who is speaking, or who the person is speaking to, or how they are saying it. For example: “What you did was wrong, young man,” his mother said sternly. We already know who’s being addressed, who’s talking, and how she’s saying it by her dialogue line. SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS by Renni Browne and Dave King talks about dialogue tags versus action beats.

What clients are saying about the Story Sensei critique service Camy and I worked together on a series of synopses and I found her ability to pinpoint the heart of the story incredibly helpful. Once I had that, plot holes were easy to fill in and my characters' journeys became more fulfilling--both to write and to read. Thank you, Camy! -- Shelley Bates , author of RITA Award winner Grounds to Believe (Steeple Hill 2005), and Over Her Head (FaithWords 2007) In today's writing industry, grabbing an agent's or editor's immediate interest is a must--it can mean the difference between a request for a full manuscript and a form rejection letter. As agents and editors have limited time, a winning synopsis can make them dive into your sample chapters with interest. Camy Tang is a master synopsis sensei--highlighting where to pull out the vital information and showing you where to tighten and enhance your structural plot in order to make your synopsis sing. I highly rec

This article originally appeared as a series of blog posts. Because of the nature of the web, blog tours have become an effective marketing tool. However, like most marketing strategies, it’s hard to quantify how effective it is in terms of sales. Regardless, blog tours are low cost and get the word out (buzz) about you and your book, and that’s never a bad thing. Also, if you’ve got a website contest going on, a blog tour is a great way to get the word out about it, because you can mention the contest at each blog on the tour. Please use the following guidelines to help you schedule the time you’ll need for the blog tour. You’ll need time the month before the tour in setting it up (contacting people, writing guest blog posts or answering interview questions), and you’ll also need time during the tour to email reminders, to post the daily stops on the tour, to comment on each blog on the tour, and to correct any mis-posts. Setting up a blog tour: You can hire a publicity co