Common problems in first person POV, part two
In first person POV, especially, writers have a great deal of narrative and internal thoughts. While that narrative tends to have some conflict in it, too much narrative means less movement in the scene. And you can’t really substitute true conflict (action and dialogue) with the conflict in a long paragraph of internal thought—the scene drags and meanders. I look at the call waiting. It’s my mother. Mom has this annoying habit of calling right when I’m about to watch CSI . Even though I’ve told her again and again that she can’t call on this particular night at this particular time, she blithely ignores me. I might as well be talking to the cat. And at least the cat answers with a polite meow. Mother barely acknowledges I’ve spoken, much less what I’ve said. All this narrative is more “telling” than “showing.” Instead of all this internal thought, why not show the information in action and dialogue? I look at the call waiting. It’s my mother. I stab the TALK button. “Mom, it’s CSI ni...